Tag Archives: crime

I “Am” Wonder Woman Y’all!



What a diva!  Do you have any idea how many years I spent dreaming I’d be her someday? What’s more, I was such a fan that my mother and grandmother took me out for a little “drive” one day.  Our destination was to be my surprise.  Little did I know that I was going to meet the real LINDA CARTER!!!!!  Ahhhhh!  And she liked me too!!!!  And guess what my grandmother bought me?


That’s how I rolled, y”all!

What I’d do is I’d grab a couple of my mother’s gold, cuff bracelets and rock them with my Wonder Woman Underoos.  The cuff bracelets had to be legit.  If they’re weren’t, I wouldn’t have been able to stop the barrage of bullets that were constantly being shot at me by all the bad guys.  If you’re looking for a good bullet-proof, cuff bracelet, I recommend that you go with something like this:

Hey, jackass… You’re Glock is no match for my cuff bracelets! Don’t waste your ammo, bro. Just go home and stop being evil. You’re wearing me out with all your villainy!


After you adorn yourself in the Underoos…eh, I mean, official crime fighting uniform, all you have to do if pop on your bullet-proof bracelets and then…..you spin around and around and around.  You spin like your life depends on it!

Once you’re done spinning your operating with your full powers and you’re ready to kick some ass.  If you misplaced your lasso, like I often did, you need not worry too much about it.  The most important thing is that you’re protected by your cuff bracelets, and that you spun properly.  Trust me on this one

And don’t trip over the invisible jet.  Jet fuel is high nowadays anyway, and just because you’re cruising in an invisible jet, doesn’t mean that you’re invisible.  And, when you’re wearing bright, primary colors, people tend to notice you flying through the friendly skies.  Duh, the jet is freakin’ invisible so you and your Louis Vuitton luggage can be spotted by anyone within a moderate distance from you, particularly if they had that laser eye surgery to improve their vision.


Today, in my spare time, I was able to make a little magic happen on my computer.  Wait til’ you get a load of this.  Who is the woman pictured below?  Is that the original Wonder Woman?  No boo, it’s her freakin’ daughter…ME!!!


I guess the news is out that I’m taking over the family biz for now.  Wonder Woman Sr. is right smack in the throes of menopause and she’s even too cranky for the villains we deal with.  She get’s attitude real quick now.  And don’t even get me started on her mood swings.  Case in point:


She still looks good and all, but “she don’t play“.  She cannot stand to be disrespected, especially by some trifflin’ ho who thinks she’s all that.  She will get crunk on a mofo if they talk to her just any kinda way now.  She’ll smack the shit out of someone in Walmart if he or she even looks at her wrong.  I just wish she’d be a little more discreet and not so aggressive.  I ordered her some of that Wild Yam Progesterone cream.  Hopefully when she rubs some of that on her skin she’ll level out a little.  Until then, I” got this. It was my destiny, I suppose…

Fighting crime and suppressing evil for your safety,

Ava Elizabeth Wisdom