Although I have a degree in Psychology and love the field immensely, I am not such a fan of labels. First of all, I don’t think we all fit inside the parameters of any one box. Our personalities and experiences differ greatly so there is no way that one size fits all. Plus, I believe that when we label ourselves and/or allow ourselves to be labeled by others we fall into the pit of self-fulfilling prophesies which often times cause us to unconsciously begin to live in accordance with whatever label(s) we impose upon ourselves and/or accept from others.
Lately though, I have found myself often asking the question, “What’s wrong with me?” And, as somethings have been brought to my attention and as I’ve taken some steps back to examine certain life pattens, I have learned that there may be a name for a particular set of some maladaptive, repetitive behaviors that I struggle with. I think this is significant because I need to uncover the “what” so I can deal with the “why”…which will help me deal with the “how to”, (hopefully) overcome and find healing and freedom.
So I recently read some information for this organization called Sex and Loves Addicts Anonymous that describes itself as “a Twelve Step, Twelve Tradition oriented Fellowship based on the model pioneered by Alcoholics Anonymous. S.L.A.A. is open to anyone who knows or thinks they have a problem with sex addiction, love addiction, romantic obsession, co-dependent relationships, fantasy addiction and/or sexual, social and emotional anorexia.”
I have never been a fan of 12-step programs as I don’t feel as though that particular method is right for me, but I was looking at their website for information and came across a self-diagnostic tool that I thought I would explore.
Below is a self-diagnostic type of inventory that I took; I answered each question as honestly as I possibly could. Here’s what I came up with. It’s bitterly shameful (I may soon delete this post) but I wonder if anyone can relate to this or has opinions about this particular topic.
I don’t want to cut myself off from love and be one of those cynical ol’ man haters. I don’t think that’s God’s will for me because I know that to be a true man hater I’d have to truly hate men. I don’t. Plus, I don’t think I’d be a very good, stereotypical cat lady because I do not like cats at all.