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Almost 3 weeks after reading this, I am still baffled…completely. I am in utter shock…still and I am sick to my stomach.

I have just spent the last year of my life pouring out my love–the very best of me–into the most profoundly abusive relationship. The rose-colored glasses were just knocked off my face. I am almost 40 and my eye are now wide open. I am not well right now. I have just come to the realization that I was a target. He was a predator and I was his prey.

Please read 2 Timothy 3:1-7 and you will fully understand what’s just happened. And please read this post.

I don’t even know how I am going to recover from this. I am completely filled with rage and my thoughts are racing. Please pray for my sanity.

-Ava

...And The Home Of Depraved.You just got out of a messy, abusive relationship with a guy who doesn’t understand you, never took the time to service your needs, and was emotionally unavailable. You are working your way back into the dating world and you may not know it, but you may be in a very dangerous scenario.

You are prey. I am a predator. I know you are hurting and vulnerable. You probably haven’t been with a guy who is emotionally sensitive, vulnerable yet still strong, willing to listen and laugh and be everything you ever needed; and yet somehow allows you to feel safe.

I actually do a seminar for women on how an average looking guy can pick up women in their late 30′s and beyond using emotional and psychological manipulation. It’s scary when you realize how easily vulnerable people can be manipulated by a guy who is willing to pretend he…

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About Ava Elizabeth Wisdom

Greetings Beloved, I am a 41-year old single mother of two boys. I was a stripper for almost a decade and have lived the kind of life that parallels something you'd see in a movie. I not only partied like a rock star, I literally partied with rock stars. I stopped dancing in 2000 and began college when my oldest was 4. Shortly after turning my life back over to the Lord and beginning my academic career at the university, my precious mother, a former Fort Worth Police officer committed suicide. When I found her, she had been dead for 3 days. I did her hair, make-up, got her dressed, and had her nails filled for her viewing and funeral. In spite of my appearance and way with men, I have never been married. Rejection and abandonment have seemed to define me since conception when my biological father deserted my mother as soon as he found out she was carrying me. I am a recovering co-dependent with a heart so big that I have to be cautious so that I don't exhaust myself in focusing on and giving to others. I was a very angry child who grew up in a violent, dysfunctional home so I haven't always loved others from the depths of my heart. However, after the loss of my loved ones, I learned that time is fleeting and that you never know when you're going to see someone for the last time. So now, I am quick to love others and strive to maximize each second that I have with the ones I love. In spite of my sin and my struggles with men, drugs, and alcohol, my faith defines me. I could never deny Christ because at the times of my life when I had everything stripped away I could literally feel Him with me. I love to write and pray that this blog will inspire you and draw you closer to the heart of God. Ava Elizabeth Wisdom

7 responses »

    • Yeah. And it freaks me out. However, if you stay BONDED to The Lord and work DAILY to maintain love and respect for yourself…if you constantly guard your heart and maintain a genuinely healthy self concept… If you are strong then men like this won’t target and prey on you. My defenses were down. I see where I went wrong now and am just FURIOUS with myself!! 😦

      God’s absolute BEST to you,
      Ava

      • Thank you! Women just need to be sure of who they are, and never lose sight of that. The most confident women are always the most attractive (even if they aren’t in the physical sense).

        And I agree, if you have God’s love in your heart, you won’t search for that of a man’s so intently.

      • Agreed sister! Nothing pushes a good man away like insecurity…and nothing draws in a DEMON like insecurity.

        I had no idea I was so fragile and vulnerable when this asshat maliciously entered my world. The walls are going UP now!

        Love,
        Ava

  1. Self-defense against predators is like anything else, the more education you have about them the safer you will be. But, we are all still vulnerable at depressed moments in our lives and one of the greatest assets predators and demons have is their ability to mask who they are, i.e wolves in sheep’s clothing. Even wild wolves are vulnerable to attack by other predators if they stray too far from the pack and become lone wolves. Safety is in the numbers, staying in the pack, unfortunately we humans can’t exist quite like nature does so we can only remain safe in our own “pack”, not as a lone wolf, but as children of God, of the Father, and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit. Being part of a good, strong, clean and honest fellowship, loving, loyal and obedient to Jesus Christ, brings us the best protection from demons.

    God bless you, Ava. I admire the way you turned your life around and show your love for the Lord.

    • Cliff, you have NO idea how much your words mean to me. I have been “incredibly” depressed for more than a month and have not even had the strength to write. But you are 100% right that isolation is what led me here (my ex isolated me) and it’s isolation that’s now keeping me here (I have isolated myself). Thank you for the words of encouragement and the affirmation from the Holy Spirit!

      -Ava

      • You are indeed in a vulnerable position, but the most important thing is to stay strong and determined and never show fear, even if you feel fear. Predators, rather they walk with two legs or four in nature or in the greater society always prey on the weak and fearful, they seldom prey on the strong so no matter what show the strength. You have to be careful with the internet because there are so many predators out there and we can’t see their faces or read their habits, but you are heading in the right direction with God. I feel for you. I wish I could comfort you and relieve your depression, if you can’t write try to read the Bible, as well as other material you like to read. I hope you can find a companion who will respect you and treat you right and make you feel complete again. Sometimes it’s a long journey down dark roads but if we stay focused on God He will see us through and protect us from all evil. I’ll hope and pray for you, Ava. Try not to be too depressed for the children need to see strength. Anytime you need an ear, I’m here. Best wishes. In the Name of the Father, and of the Son, and the Holy Spirit. Amen.

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