“Mom, we don’t have anything to eat.”
“Mom, I’m hungry.”
“Mom, can you go to Sonic?”
“Mom, what’s for dinner?”
“Mom, when are you going to the grocery store?”
Jeremiah & Jonah
The photo above is quite befitting as I picture Jeremiah on the left; he needs a haircut so bad. We had an appointment this evening but I checked my banking account and learned that the $1.50 Diet Coke that I swiped my card for at work overdrew my damn account. Ugh! When will it end? No gas, no groceries, bills coming at me from every angle… It’s hard living this way. Sufficed to say, I am terrified.
I’m not teaching anymore…at least for a while. I have gone back to work for a major airline. Since September 11th, we have taken a huge hit, so it’s been almost impossible to get back on with the company as they simply have not been hiring. I was extremely happy there when I worked there 12 years ago, so I was thrilled to see a job opening and therefore applied for it immediately.
I prayed about teaching, which had been a huge source of stress for me for a plethora of reasons. I had been so anxious and had no peace in my heart whatsoever. I prayed and “totally” put the situation at the foot of the cross. You can surrender to Christ with your mouth…saying it is one thing; but I surrendered to Christ with my soul–every ounce of it. When I did He gave me an inexplicable peace–a peace I hadn’t felt in a long time–and miraculously, doors started to open and doors that needed to be closed, became closed.
Ideally, I’d like to get into teaching at the airline I work for and possibly be involved in curriculum and development. It’s a faith walk right now though. I am just going where God leads me. Still I am afraid.
I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again, “I do not want my children to suffer for bad choices that I have made in the past.” A while back a passage of scripture popped out at me from the 54th chapter of Isaiah:
For the Lord has called you like a woman forsaken and grieved in spirit,
Like a youthful wife when you were refused.
For a mere moment I have forsaken you, but with great mercies I will gather you.
With a little wrath I hid My face from you for a moment;
But with everlasting kindness I will have mercy on you.
This is like the waters of Noah to me;
For as I have sworn that the waters of Noah would no long cover the earth,
So I have sworn that I will not be angry with you, nor rebuke you.
For the mountains shall depart and the hills be removed,
But My kindness shall not depart from you.
Nor shall My covenant of peace be removed.
O you afflicted one, tossed with the tempest and not comforted,
Behold I will lay your stones with colorful gems,
And lay your foundations with sapphires.
I will make your pinnacles of rubies, your gates of crystal,
And your walls of precious stones.
All your children shall be taught by the Lord,
And great shall be the peace of your children.
In righteousness you shall be established;
You shall be far from oppression, for you shall not fear;
And from terror, for it shall not come near you.
Indeed they shall surely assemble, but not of Me.
Whoever assembles against you shall fall for your sake.
Could that verse speak to my circumstances more? I was astounded when I found that! It’s like it was written just for me! But that’s how the Word of God works!
With that, I’d like to think of my children like this, not like the picture above:
The psalmist tells us in Psalm 37 that he has never seen the righteous forsaken nor his children begging bread. I know my kids are protected under the mighty wing of God (and praise the Lord they love Ramen noodles). We’ll be alright because we are God’s children and He loves us in unfathomable ways. And friend, YOU are His child too. Whatever it is you are walking through, He’s gone before you. Trust that.
And if you aren’t a Christian, it’s really easy to become one. All you do is pray to your Father and tell Him that you believe in Him. Tell Him that you simply cannot do it without Him. Tell the Lord Jesus that you believe that He is the Son of God and invite Him to occupy your heart. Admit that you’re a sinner and ask God to forgive you and wipe the slate clean. He will, beloved. He will wash you as white as snow.
And don’t let any kind of sin that you are currently walking in prevent you from coming to Christ. Come now. He is gentle and patient and will clean you up little by little. If you have a particular sin that you’re struggling to let go of he will slowly begin to change your heart so that you will want to break free from whatever bondage that you’re living in.
I heard a story on the radio the other day that I thought was really cool. It said that “guided” missiles aren’t “guided” toward their destination until after they’re launched.
They have no destination until after they leave the launch pad. Think of Jesus as the launcher, and yourself as the missile. Baby, just GET LAUNCHED. Get to the launchpad and GET LAUNCHED! Once you invite Him to be your boss, He will fill you with love and acceptance. He will then guide you toward your destination.
I think one of the biggest lies that Satan tells us that we’re too much of a mess to come to God NOW. Don’t wait for the right time, friend. We are all sinners and so it may never feel like the right time. The time is now.
And remember, Jesus himself didn’t run around with a bunch of people who had it all together. He ran with whores, thieves, tax collectors, etc. The great Apostle Paul was a murdered who murdered and persecuted slews of Christians before He surrendered His life to the Lord, and look who He became.
And look, I don’t know most of you. So ask yourself this: “What does she have to gain by telling me this? What is her agenda?” I have nothing to gain and no agenda. But if I don’t know you now, I’ll know you when we get to Heaven. Because, if you accept Jesus, that’s exactly where you’ll be spending eternity.
I have been to the bottom of hell and back. I could never deny the Lord. I’ve felt his presence when everything else had been stripped away. I am scared beyond measure at this time in my life, but the hope I have in Him carries me through. Beloved, I can’t keep this love to myself. It’s your too… All you have to do is ask. If there is anything you need–prayer or otherwise–call on me. I’m here for you, and so is God.
And friends, please pray for me and my precious kids. We need a miracle right now…
All my love,